You know what really grinds my gears?

I am an incredible, massive hypocrite. If you could convert Rosie O’Donnell’s weight into hypocrisy, then that would be right around the level of hypocrisy that I’m at right now. Do you, dear reader, know why I’m such a hypocrite? I’ll tell you: I hate blogs. I think they’re incredibly self-centered and egotistical. They’re the perfect tribute to self-important vanity—kind of like Jack Thompson, or Sarah Palin.

Your typical blogger is a 25-year-old man, living in his Mom’s basement, talking about how much he hates going outside, or asking people whether they think he should pull his hair back into a ponytail. I’ll give you a hint, dude: Nobody cares. Not even a little bit. It’s just you babbling about unimportant things in your unimportant life, and the world would be a more peaceful place if you would just shut your mouth, or cut off your fingers, or whatever it is that you have to do to stop bothering us. You telling the Internet what you think about the latest book or TV show won’t change anything in the world; it’s just going to make you feel like you’ve accomplished something, when in reality you’re still just an empty, hollow excuse for a human being. In short, blogs are a complete and utter waste of time, and we should all be ashamed to be even slightly involved in any of this. (P.S., definitely go for the ponytail, man. It spells “class” with a capital "C" and the ladies will love it.)

With that said, not all blogs are completely worthless. Certainly, I exclude this particular blog from the list. Its writers at least use humor, and the gods know it’s a veritable treasure trove of important, life-altering advice. And as far as I know, Darth Hurley does at least shower more than twice a week—so we’ve got that going for us, which is nice.

In any case, I’ll be writing more in the times ahead.

P.S., it’s my birthday, so please be gentle.

Sarah Palin... Do I really need a pun?

Apparently Mrs. Palin is angrily media-whoring, once again.
I said nothing when she tried to demonize birth control,
I just sat there when she said she knew foreign policy because Russia raided her panty-drawer in college or something,
I didn't even get upset when she claimed Africa was a country and NAFTA wasn't anything she needed to know about.
BUT for the third time she has greatly offended me by attacking comedy, good comedy at that.
Not to say that all good comedy stems from making fun of Sarah Palin and her offspring, but dammit, a lot of it does.



Everyone remembers the big deal she made over Letterman saying something about how her fourteen year old was knocked up at a baseball game. Personally, I'm more of a Leno kind of guy myself, but the delivery was pretty good.

So Palin crusades against that.

And in a relatively short amount of time she falls off the radar, like she should.
But that just won't sit well for long, for someone like Palin at least.

So as her second insult to comedy, she writes a book. The joke that she claims is serious... just plain in bad taste

And most recently she has started attacking Seth MacFarlane because of some family friendly humor involving a girl with down syndrome claiming "my dad's an accountant and my mom's the former governor of Alaska" on his show Family Guy.

The last one I find particularly amusing after she just recently publicly defended Rush Limbaugh for saying "what's wrong with calling people, who are retards, retards."

She just disgusts me. And I thought everyone should know.