The Gripping Conclusion to a Compelling Saga...

...would be nice wouldn't it? Instead, you get a poorly thrown together fifth page.
Full of plot holes, misspellings, grammatical abominations, and not a single picture.
You heard me right!
I decided to leave the Finale in the form of a Word document.
Well, technically, I just don't think I'll have time to GIMP together anything worthwhile.
See, today I'm leaving work slightly early. And during work is really the only leisure time I have... Ironic ain't it?
So for the conclusion to Psychological Warfare To The Furthest Extent Week, I had a utter stroke of genius!
I shall make a list of History's(Past, Present, and Future) most messed up militaristic inventions for the complete and total demoralization of an enemy psyche.
Ready? Set? Too Bad, here it comes!

• Carpet Bombing an area with Africanized Bee nests
• Surround an enemy with wind-tunnel fans and drop billions of mosquitoes on them
• A trillion gallons of pig's blood, Carrie Style
• Lighting people on fire, at a distance (quite possibly history's greatest)
• Unleashing large amounts of rabid rodents (squirrels, chinchillas, bunnies, etc.)
• Relocating all death-row criminals to the warzone with as many guns as they can carry
• Claymore mines loaded with grenades
• Large range explosives filled with boiling Cheddar cheese (PHASE 1)
• Release copious amounts of seagulls on cheese covered enemy (PHASE 2)
• Specially trained nocturnal ball-hunting weasels
• Project a direct feed of 24-7 MTV on all flat surfaces of a hostile city
• OH NO! Ive fried my brain!
• I can't think of anything else!

Well I guess that concludes Thoughts Rants and Other Great Ponderings First Serial Thought Extravaganza, Psychological Warfare to The Furthest Extent Week.

Hope you all are now as demented as I am.
I've done my part to better the world.
Thank You and Goodnight.

Finally a Practical Military Application

And today we come to the second to last day in TROGP's Psychological Warfare to The Furthest Extent Week!

Its a solemn moment, lets have a brief second to recap of what we've done to screw with people's heads so far.

• Puppy Warfare
• Halloween Warfare
• Giant Shark Walker Warfare

It has been a great week, and I promise it'll only get better before its over.

I was thinking to myself, "what is the most screwed up thing you can do to someone's mind?"

Then it hit me like a flying koala bear all hopped up on cigarettes and banjo music... Introduce them to religion!

But not even I, a certified Crowned Prince of Evil, am that malevolent. (See, told you I was Certified)

So I had to think of another way to mess with heads, needless to say, my answer still came from religion.

Ever hear of a guy named Noah? We'll come back to him.

I want to spread over a battlefield from above with a small amount of specially trained commandos to create warzone confusion.

But by Commandos, I mean wild animals
And by Specially Trained I really mean really pissed off and threatened
And by Small Amount I kinda meant a shitload

Introducing Operation NDCF
Noah Drop Cluster F\/ck

Basically I just accumulated two of each type of really mean animals and carpeted the enemy with them. Simple, Effective, Dirty, and sorta Cute

Hump day! (Of my week at least)

Welcome distinguished minions to the halfway point of this very special TROGP presentation.

Lets see, we've covered ranged infant mammals and the excrement expulsion potential of religious enemies upon meeting their worst fears face to face.
Both of which take a little ARR and DEE (if you're curious, that is Research and Development by pirates.... The best kind of research and development) but not a lot of science, and I love me some science!

Is my next weapon going to be a battlefield revelation? The next Atomic Bomb? A highly practical instrument of pain? PSSSSHHHH! You best know better. This is a week of psychological warfare after all.

My next machination is all about that ever elusive "I think he just pooped himself" factor.

Revelation? Absolutely, it did come from me.
Revolutionary? Without a doubt, nobody else would try it.
Practical? Not a bit, but the enemy would not even think of fighting back after seeing...

Yes, those are genetically enlarged, enhanced and air-breathing sharks (told you we might have those) mounted to walking exoskeletons.
Believe it or not... catching the sharks was the hardest part. The insulting nature and mechanical engineering was easy. We ran out of money before we found a boat, so we had to steal a deep-sea canoe. (found out later, there is no such thing... you try catching Great White in a kayak)

Now that we're on the down slope, what do you think tomorrow will bring? Find out tomorrow, boys and girls.

Day 2 of Psychological Warfare To The Furthest Extent Week!

Hey, Remember the Vikings, the Goths, the Huns.... All these groups are responsible for bringing the "civilized" world to it's knees.

What was their secret?
Wasn't the technological edge.
Wasn't the uniformity.
Certainly wasn't their battlefield ethics.

IT WAS FEAR!

A Viking warrior was called a Berserker, for crying out loud! He would stand on a hill, and scream so that the enemy thought he was insane and completely willing to die. Small kernel of knowledge, he was willing but not likely. Because the enemy had already made piece with his patron deity long before the Viking even got to him.

Not to mention image can go a long way.

So for Day 2, I'm discussing the battlefield benefits of taking an already technologically advanced, disciplined, knowledgeable fighting force and creating the most effectively lethal Berserkers the world has ever seen! I really need to work on shortening these strategy names, huh? Lets call it Halloween Warfare.

Lets start with battlefield leaders... your Sergeants.
Sure, he's a little intimidating but we can do better I think... How about.... Much better!

On to the average infantry, I put current enemies in mind. Currently the US is in a war with a people who are motivated by their religion. And love to throw around the word "Satan". So the Psychological Warfare experts at TROGP have decided to exploit this Achilles Heel. Introducing the improved Terror Trooper. Guaranteed to make a terrorist shit himself on sight.
Don't Forget to stop by tomorrow for Day 3.

I'm Starting a Series!

For the first time ever on Thoughts, Rants, and Other Great Ponderings
Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, children of the corn gather around for the first ever
TROGP Serial Thought Extravaganza!!!
Think of it like Shark Week, just with less sharks and more me. Not saying there won't be sharks, just I can't guarantee it at this fragile stage of development.

But this Week...Starting with a Friday.... cause I feel like it.... IT IS
Psychological Warfare To The Furthest Extent Week!

Starting with The Militaristic Uses Of Destroying an Enemies Mental and Emotional State With The Use of Puppy Barrages! I know what you are thinking.... Too long a term for tactical usage, so we'll just shorten it to Puppy Warfare.

What would shatter an enemy emotionally better than the point he realizes he is facing an enemy willing to launch live (at the point of launch at least) puppies at him? Nothing I can think of. That's why we're starting this week of with a bang... or at least a yelp and a dull thud.

The only real problem that I am coming across is delivery method. There are only really two schools of thought on projectile puppies. I say both should be immediately implemented on a battlefield for further testing. First there is the Pupapult.
Capable of launching full litters, but unfortunately accuracy is left wanting. Great for widespread blind puppy blanketing. But useless in close quarters. So we have school two. The Pupzooka, with my own extra psychological edge, using children to shoot them. This offers great battlefield maneuverability due to the fact that children are small. Two downsides though are that these are similar to the muskets of old. Single fire, then reload...etcetera ad nauseum. And children cannot carry many puppies on their person. The other downfall is that children are rather easy to take out. But both these problems are easily solved by Nature herself... Children are quite expendable and very quickly brought to fighting age.

Tune in Monday for Day 2 of Psychological Warfare To The Furthest Extent Week

I've found it! The root cause of the problems.

After feedback, and much great personal inner reflection upon current events, I think I've found the major problem with the world.
Quite possibly it is The Problem. Ya know the one problem that is responsible (ripple style) for all other problems.

But lets start where the revelation occurred.

On an accidental trip to IMDB, there it was!
They are remaking one of the greatest films ever made.
A true classic among classics.
True Grit! With Jeff Bridges as Rooster!!!!!!!!!!
Are you as thrilled as I am? Probably not, and your admission to this is what led to my great revealing.

The root cause of all the world's problems is...... (drum roll) ....... People that don't agree with me.
More specifically when they don't like the exact same things and/or hate the exact same things.

So as I was on the hunt for someone to show the proper level of awe for this upcoming cinematic epicness, I got a little frustrated.