Bill 1057!

On March 25, the Maryland Senate Judicial Proceedings Committee will review a vital bill to restrict the cruel practice of chaining dogs outside during snowstorms.
Please help by calling or writing to your state senator and asking him or her to vote "Yes!" on Senate Bill 1057, which would restrict the chaining of dogs during snowstorms. If you don't know who your state senator is, you can find out by calling 410-946-5400 from the Baltimore area or 1-800-492-7122 from all other areas or by going to http://mdelect.net/electedofficials/ and entering your address.

For reals..think about all those poor doggies out in the snow...help pass this bill. All it takes is a short letter. Let your senator know that you care.

Daylight Savings Time....FFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUU

Yes, the entire ridiculous institution of daylight savings time has become an inconvenience, at best, to the people of this fine republic.
I would like to argue that this short-sighted endeavor should be unquestioningly overthrown for the sake of decency as a whole.
To summarize this protracted tirade... This shit is whack!
Now back to more important matters, like how this blog is totally going down the pooper. I just cannot find the time to write a decent blog when I have something to write about. And just as often I find that I have nothing to write about when I have a free moment.
That's basically what this all is... filler. Yet forth you read, makes me feel all warm and squishy.
I really wish I could think of one intelligent thought to share to make you want to come here as a place of intellectual retreat...
BUT lets face it, that's not what you want... so here is a picture of the Tron-Guy in front of a dragster...

It's not exactly anything that should necessarily make sense to you but it makes those who get the joke chuckle slightly

Sorry to use this blog to promote...

BUT..there are at least seven people reading this soo I thought I would do it anyways..

I'm on a the social work club team for the SU relay for life and I could use the help in raising money..

It does not have to be alot even a dollar will help!!

Just click Here! and you can either donate online or print out a form to send in.

Thanks in advance to anyone who wants to help out.

Darkness, Imprisoning Me! All That I See! Absolute Horror!

Ahhh... Metallica. Possibly the greatest band to walk the Earth.
The word's from the song "One" have always simply struck fear in me.
Made me realize that if I can avoid being a vegetable.. I should probably do that, 'cause it would mad suck!
Another ridiculously depressing song is "Fade to Black", can't hardly listen to it without tears.
But my blog tonight is not about the epicness of Metallica.
No my friends, tonight I talk of a blight!
Emo Kids!
Ya know, the little queers, that hang around in the mall, wearing girls pants and make-up? Yea, them!
I think the thing that irritates me the most is that they all claim to be soooooo depressed and there lives are sooooo hard.
These kids, live off their parents money! They have no responsibilities and they usually have no idea about misery! I've seen things that would make these kids' heads explode!
So my solution for this problem...
Everytime you see one of these little douches, slap the shit out of them, and make them get a job.
As for me... I'll take care of the more ... let's say ... ummm... more direct problem elimination methods...

Now back to thinking about my real problems, like bills.... looks like the Gas bill is gonna be a real killer this month. Mwa ha ha ha ha ha ...
*three hours later*
...ha ha ha ha

Madness? THIS IS IOWAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!! Wait ... what? It's review time!

I'm beginning to notice a box-office trend, at least when it comes to me.
I love madness, I saw The Wolfman (everyone thinks he's mad,)Shutter Island (everyone is mad), Alice in Wonderland (all the best people are a bit mad), and last night I saw The Crazies (umm... pretty self-explanatory).
Madness in movies is grand. Much like all those movies.
The Crazies, was pretty trippy.
Really makes you paranoid that the government could screw up something and then subsequently kill, destroy and nuke in order to cover-up.
Stupid biological government experiments.
Ever enter a place and think perhaps all the people around you could already be affected by the crazy-making virus?

Ok, so to the movie itself. Think zombie movie but scarier because the infected can still function and reason and use tools and weapons and plan. Yea, scary shit!
If I continue any further, I'm bound to ruin the movie, so thats where I call it quits.

Breaks are nice, even from you lovely bastards!

The hiatus is over and I, as it was written in the book of the Fonz, have returned.
Did ya miss me? I know you did.
From my last post, you probably can muster that I saw Alice in Wonderland the other night, I effin loved it. But this is not a review!
Today is a rant day:

Movie critics just irritate the piss outta me. ( Like for real, went on Rotten Tomatoes and peed a little )
Everytime I see a movie and love it, Some douchebag critic has to go and ruin my cinema-high by saying it was dreadful, horrendous, miserable, or some other faggy way of saying crappy!
Which brings me to my assumption of the truth!
Movie critics do not actually watch the movies!
Why because they are too busy raping thesauri for synonyms of "bad", This is a short post but I implore all my loyal minions to not support movie critics and just take my word on movies. I know good movies, and through me you shall learn.

A tribute to the greatest.

Oh course I am talking about none other than the great, the awesome, the amazing Mr. John Belushi.

As some of you, I hope, may know today is the 28th anniversary of Belushi's death. It saddens me deeply that he has been gone longer than I have been alive. I really think he is one of the greatest comedians, actor and musican to ever take step on this big planet. He is iconic and legendary. There is not one college campus on this planet this poster does not hang. (I am assuming)

John Belushi has been crippling me with laughter since middle school when I watched my first episode of SNL on E! at my grandparents house. Yes I even remember the skit that first introduced me to this great man. "Cheeseburger Chesseburger..No Coke! Pepsi." After that moment I knew I would be a dedicated fan. I mean who else can make green jello gross..and cool at the same time... What other man of his stanama can dance circles around your momma?? No one. He made the blues cool again. The Blues Brothers in now and will forever be my favorite movie.

So let us all remember this great man today by shoving piles of green jello into your face, by dancing around your house to blues music, maybe dress up like a bee abd break into houses, or walk around with a samurai sword and disco!

I now leave you with a few of my favorite clips of Mr. Belushi. (It was hard to find stuff on youtube...)

Soul Man (LIVE) by The Blues Brothers

Ray

MySpace Video
 

I can't wait til the Jabberwocky is slain, so I can go Futter-Whacking once again.

'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.

"Beware the Jabberwock, my son!
The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!
Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun
The frumious Bandersnatch!"

He took his vorpal sword in hand:
Long time the manxome foe he sought—
So rested he by the Tumtum tree,
And stood awhile in thought.

And as in uffish thought he stood,
The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame,
Came whiffling through the tulgey wood,
And burbled as it came!

One, two! One, two! and through and through
The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!
He left it dead, and with its head
He went galumphing back.

"And hast thou slain the Jabberwock?
Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!"
He chortled in his joy.

'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.

SPOON

No wonder our generation is effed up

So we got our three year old some books at the Goodwill. It seems that some of the content would now-a-days be considered not politically correct. Some of it makes no sense. These nursery rhymes do not make any kind of sense. In advance I will apologize for the pics being sideways. Read them though it is worth it.
let me list some examples:This woman is cutting the tails off mice. Why does she need mice tails? What is this teaching children, how to torture animals to death?






Why the hell is this even in here? That dog has got to be pissed!



I am at a loss for words on this one. Dear god why are there three men in a tub floating in a ponds at night, playing with candlesticks and large sausages?



So.... The King calls for a bowl, then hes smoking a pipe while jamming. The bowl is even just sitting on the floor away from the King! Innuendo anyone? One happy-ass king.





Again, no sense. A paper bag does not cure blunt force trauma to the head. Plus if he has a concussion he needs medical attention, not sleep, that could make it worse. Clumsy fagot.


And finally the most f*cked up.


OK, so this woman has too many kids so she is starving them to death and whipping them. I am pretty sure that lining kids up for a whipping for no reason is punishable with time in a federal prison and a hefty fine. This is child abuse and unusual punishment. Especially if they live in a giant shoe. I am pretty sure there are laws that dictate that kids have to be sheltered in a dwelling which has a proper utilities like running water and sanitation. She gives them broth with no bread. Reminds me of Auschwitz. All the kids in the picture are lining up to get beaten, while the old bitch sits there and smiles.
I know I used to watch cartoon animals hit each other with anvils, but f*ck. I am at a loss.

We've been spending most our lives Living in a gangsta's paradise

Just so I don't keep things too depressingly serious for an extended period of time, I decided I'd write this one quick and get it out of the way.
For some reason as of late, I've been thinking about the "Good ole days" a little too much.
I don't do well talking about my emotions, so I hope I can write them a little easier.
This is about one of my best friends.
I don't know exactly how well I can stretch the words, considering I don't really know where he is right now, well except behind bars.
"Gangsta's Paradise" was our favorite song in second grade, hence the title. It's amazing how when you are growing up, you never really understand the world. When you are young, you never really think about gangs, guns, drugs or anything like that. And you certainly never think that maybe one day you'll be surrounded by them.
Maybe my friend did, not really sure. I always thought maybe he looked at life a little too hard, but hey, I was just the side-kick.
I loved being the sidekick. It was what made me part of the popular crowd and the rest all at the same time. Without ever feeling pressure.
Either way, I guess I just wished I had been a better friend toward the end. So I could have been there when the shit started getting bad. I went my separate way, to living a normal life, which I don't regret, I just sorta miss the adventure.
I don't want to mention a name without a way of getting consent, but some may know who I'm talking about.
I love you, BKS, you're my brother, and right now, I'm sure you'd be calling that a party foul for saying I love a dude to the internet. But dammit, you know what I mean.

P.S. Amazing what a friendship can spawn from an observation made about the height of a gymnasium ceiling...

I feel a little better.
Thank you reader's for allowing me to get this off my chest.
I love you guys too

Motivate Motivate Motivate

and my personal favorite...

A bit of Sagely Advice: Hate is bad! duh.

You would think that by this time our society would have progressed beyond the need for sexism, racism, bigotry, hate, etc. But alas, we seem stuck in a neverending spiral of self-destruction.

Why do we do this?
- Misinformation? Perhaps.
- Upbringing? Possibly.
- Personal Experience? Doubtful.

So lets examine what is the science behind this.
Lets start out with one, What is Racism?
Hating an entire group of people based simply on their Race.
How might someone come to be "racist"?
Probably due to negative stereotypes.
What is a stereotype?
A generalization of an entire group based on the characteristics of some(or maybe even none).

Now to the interesting part: Deciding whether or not stereotypes are a bad thing.
If they are wrong and negative, then they are most certainly bad. But not all stereotypes are bad, for instance: I bet you won't eat at a Popeyes if you don't see atleast one black person working in the kitchen ( I won't! ). Are black people something that has been scientifically proven to be a necessity at Popeyes? No, but I did try Popeyes once with no visible black people and I got food poisoning. So this stereotype is more or less a "safe bet issue". So yes some stereotypes are ok, and can save lives.

What I can't deduce is why people take stereotypes so far as to start hating an entire group!
Just doesn't make sense!
All people need to learn to be proud of who they are and what they are without feeling the need to destroy all others in their wake.
Maybe my words will change something... More than likely though, no one will read this, but I certainly hope someday there will be no hate.
Till then, can we at least attempt to keep flammable objects away from people who can't spell flammable. I have a feeling that couldn't hurt the situation.

Why I can never be a the Supreme Emperor of Earth or even a mere dictator.

I noticed a correlation today.
And I think it is a little more than coincidence.

Every time someone in history has done anything great, be it greatly good or greatly evil, it has always be behind one thing...
Amazingly recognizable facial hair!

It's true!
Science: Einstein!
Psychology: Freud!
Pillaging: Leif Ericson!
Privateering: Edward Teach!
Being Tom Selleck: Tom Selleck!

See the connection?

Here is a visual explanation... would any of these men have managed to do anything without their facial hair?
I think not! Perhaps if only someone had thought to shave them sooner.

And this, my friends, is why I will never amount to anything truly great.
I cannot grow any facial hair of note.
Hell, I can barely grow facial hair at all!
And depression sinks in :(

You know what really grinds my gears?

I am an incredible, massive hypocrite. If you could convert Rosie O’Donnell’s weight into hypocrisy, then that would be right around the level of hypocrisy that I’m at right now. Do you, dear reader, know why I’m such a hypocrite? I’ll tell you: I hate blogs. I think they’re incredibly self-centered and egotistical. They’re the perfect tribute to self-important vanity—kind of like Jack Thompson, or Sarah Palin.

Your typical blogger is a 25-year-old man, living in his Mom’s basement, talking about how much he hates going outside, or asking people whether they think he should pull his hair back into a ponytail. I’ll give you a hint, dude: Nobody cares. Not even a little bit. It’s just you babbling about unimportant things in your unimportant life, and the world would be a more peaceful place if you would just shut your mouth, or cut off your fingers, or whatever it is that you have to do to stop bothering us. You telling the Internet what you think about the latest book or TV show won’t change anything in the world; it’s just going to make you feel like you’ve accomplished something, when in reality you’re still just an empty, hollow excuse for a human being. In short, blogs are a complete and utter waste of time, and we should all be ashamed to be even slightly involved in any of this. (P.S., definitely go for the ponytail, man. It spells “class” with a capital "C" and the ladies will love it.)

With that said, not all blogs are completely worthless. Certainly, I exclude this particular blog from the list. Its writers at least use humor, and the gods know it’s a veritable treasure trove of important, life-altering advice. And as far as I know, Darth Hurley does at least shower more than twice a week—so we’ve got that going for us, which is nice.

In any case, I’ll be writing more in the times ahead.

P.S., it’s my birthday, so please be gentle.

Songs about Places.

A once old dream of mine was to take a road trip to all the places some of my favorite songs talk about or mention..but it would be hard to do because some of them are on another continent. But anyways in no order here are some songs about some places...

1) San Simeon- Goldfinger (I google earthed this place..and its B-E-A-Utiful!)

2) To Ohio- The Low Anthem

3) All these are Rancid songs..

    A) Olympia, Wa

    B) Journey to the end of East Bay (one of my 

          favoritesongs ever!)

    C) New Orleans (Suprise!!)

4) Back in the USSR- The Beatles

5) California Sun- The Ramones

6) Gainesville Rock City- Less Than Jake

7) Sweet Home Chicago- The Blues Brothers(I can't

    remember who does it orginally)

8) Made in N.Y.C- The Casualties

9) Holiday in Spain- Counting Crows

10) Vegas- Sara Bareilles

11) Sodom, South Georgia- Iron & Wine

12) These are all Coldplay songs

      A) Amsterdam (Not really about Amsterdam..but I would like to go there!)

      B) Lovers in Japan
      C) Cemetaries of London
13) Warwick Ave- Duffy
14) San Fransico- Each Passing Day
15) Australia- The Shins
16) Liverpool 8- Ringo

Ever thought about the afterlife? Here is how I think it should be.

I figure the vikings had the afterlife pretty much pegged.
A land of endless partying, battle and a goat that had mead-giving utters.
Pretty smart dudes, those norse.

I think that is perfect, just some details need to be given:
Imagine a world in which you awake upon you're glorious death.
A world of clear blue skies and lush green hills and meadows.
A land with streets of golden bricks
A place full of the greatest hero's to be introduced to the earth.
A world under constant siege!
A world you are forced to constantly drink and fight a never-ending and relentless enemy.

I give you the perfect afterlife, I GIVE YOU...

VIDEO GAME VALHALLA

You remember death at the hands of your enemy yet somehow consciousness returns. Slowly your eyes open to the see a beautiful pixelated sky. The warcry of the Ghost of Sparta splits the serenity with a notice of an impending attack!
*dramatic monotone music picks up pace*
A man who was once nothing but a Dream of the Fayth asks if you will lead the army assembled as a resistance...

- --Accept---
----Deny----

Press Start To Play

Hey, it could happen! I don't see your afterlife proposals being anymore probable!

Reading leads to knowledge, and Knowledge is POWER!

Holy crap I just realized I could change the font! SCHWEEEEEEET

But that is all beside the point.

Today I'm talkin' about books. I effin love books.
Love to read books
Love to hold books
Love to own books
Love to gently caress books in candle-lit bedrooms.
...
... ...

Sorry, lost my train of thought there... Oh yea, books.

Today I finally figured out my less than pride-filled pattern: 2/3
What do I mean by this? I only truly enjoy 2/3 of a literary piece. If it's a series, I'll get 2/3 of the books out of the way, then either struggle to maintain interest enough to finish, or more than likely give up and come back later. If it's a single book, I'll get 2/3 of the way through it then usually be frustrated by it until I get to the end.

I don't really know why, but it is frustrating. People must think I read a hell of a lot more books than I really do. I always have different books in hand for this very reason.
Truly, this is a severe blow to my pride.

Certain books I can make it all the way through once without ever losing the ever evasive interest. But if I go to reread... In a fashion resembling "making up lost ground", I usually can only get through like 1/4 or if I'm lucky 1/3.

For examples: Dune = great book; loved it
Dune Messiah = great book; loved it
Children of Dune = great book; loved it
God Emperor of Dune = seemed alright; could not quite finish
Heretics of Dune = remains untouched on my bookshelf
Chapterhouse: Dune = as untouched as the blinker in an asian woman's car

Another example for the latter case: Moby Dick = the favorite book of my youth
Moby Dick (revisited) = Got up to the part when Ahab makes a deal with the crew, then just couldn't pick it up.

Random insert of Awesome: "In ole Norse times, the thrones of sea-loving Danish kings were fabricated, saith tradition, of the tusks of the narwhal. How could one look at Ahab then, seated on that tripod of bones, without bethinking him of the royalty it symbolised? For a Khan of the plank, and a king of the sea, and a great lord of the Leviathans was Ahab." That is a quote from Moby Dick that I find pretty effing sweet and thought the world should share my opinion or be put to death...that is all
We now return to your regularly scheduled blog...

Perhaps there is a way to restore the passion!
Perhaps if I took two great pieces of literature and ruined them both in an attempt to fuse them... I give you: MOBY DUNE!

Ahhhh, YES. That's the ticket!
I would read this!
ALL OF THIS!
It is so perfectly bad, that it must be utterly brilliant.

And by the way... Hollywood, again You Are Welcome.