Breaks are nice, even from you lovely bastards!

The hiatus is over and I, as it was written in the book of the Fonz, have returned.
Did ya miss me? I know you did.
From my last post, you probably can muster that I saw Alice in Wonderland the other night, I effin loved it. But this is not a review!
Today is a rant day:

Movie critics just irritate the piss outta me. ( Like for real, went on Rotten Tomatoes and peed a little )
Everytime I see a movie and love it, Some douchebag critic has to go and ruin my cinema-high by saying it was dreadful, horrendous, miserable, or some other faggy way of saying crappy!
Which brings me to my assumption of the truth!
Movie critics do not actually watch the movies!
Why because they are too busy raping thesauri for synonyms of "bad", This is a short post but I implore all my loyal minions to not support movie critics and just take my word on movies. I know good movies, and through me you shall learn.